Tears, tantrums and joy

Involving you child in cooking is a great way to get them to eat healthily:

>Choose a time that you can give them your undivided attention so that it is a positive experience for them - obviously if you are too busy it is not a good idea to involve them as it could be dangerous with hot cookers and sharp knifes

>You could begin by getting them to cook once a week with you that way you could set aside extra time for them to help.  Begin making the meal earlier than you normally would so that you are not rushing and can spend time helping your child with the tasks

>If there is a food they don’t like in dish this is a great way to encourage them to eat it - mushrooms in spaghetti bolognese for example

>If you have more than one child it may be an idea to allocate them different cooking days.  It can be quite tricky to find enough jobs to keep  two or more children occupied at one time

>Remember to praise them when your eating your meal and remind them that they made it - this will raise their self-esteem as well as encouraging them to eat up

This is obviously a great life skill for your child to learn and something they can build on as they get older.

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Now we all know we should take regular exercise and we would all deep down love to be toned and honed to perfection.  Here are a few tips on how to do this the posh way without having to spend hours at the gym:

High Heels - If you get into the habit of wearing these even for short periods of time you will be amazed at how quick your leg muscles tone up.  When you are wearing heels your legs are exercising the whole time.  If you are not used to wearing them begin by wearing them in the house and build up your confidence to wear them outside for small periods of time.  Of course it is worth mentioning here that they can of course be bad for your feet if you wear them too often so little and often is my advice.

Shopping - This burns of tons of calories and tones you up without you even realising.  If you have lots of money to spend that is great but even if you are on a budget it is still fun trying clothes and shoes on.  Of course there is always a bargain to be found if you have a good rumage around you are sure to find one.

Clothes - We all like slobbing around occasionally in our comfy clothes.  I do however believe that we should also wear clothes that are a bit more fitted regularly.  I think this forces us to hold our stomachs in and think about our posture which in turn tones us up.

Get that high heels out your wardrobe and put on that clingy top and you will have a toned stomach and legs in no time - it really works!!

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http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Domestic chores - not my favorite words!! I wasn’t just over the moon about them pre -kids and am even less so now.  I feel like I now do ten times as much domestic chores around the house as I used to and within 10 minutes everything looks a mess again.  A bit of a thankless task!!

I have however discovered ways to motivate and inspire me to complete these mundane tasks:

Music - I have recently started listening to the radio when I’m cleaning it’s amazing how it takes your mind of what you are doing and lifts your mood.  I now dance around listening to music , debate the issues of the day and of course have a laugh with the amusing DJ’s - now I actually look forward to my radio time.  You can of course use this time to listen to your favorite CD.

Routine cleaning - If you have a routine of certain things you do on certain days it stops you feeling overwhelmed by what needs done.  Housework is an ongoing process you can always do more but you have to find a realistic level that you can stick to.  Remember you want to be able to enjoy your children and your home will never be at the standards it was pre kids.  You will have years to clean your house once they are grown up

Timed Cleaning - Another way of doing things is to set yourself a time limit.  For example decide to clean for 2 hours.  Clean as much as you can in this time then stop -  lay down whatever you are doing.  You will be amazed by how much you can get down in this time knowing there is an end in sight - combine with your favorite radio station and your husband won’t recognize the place when he gets home - voila a domestic goddess has emerged!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

I want to bring every moms attention to the area of sleep.  I had my child and for the first year or so tried to carry on my routine as I usually did staying up late and getting up early.  The only difference was before I used to have week-ends of when I could catch up on my sleep - now of course my work was 24/7.

I know as a mother it is very tempting to stay up late once your child has gone to bed and catch up on chores or relax and watch TV or whatever .  This is a time in the day were you can get on with things with no interruptions.  I am also very aware of children having disturbed sleep at times or just not being very good sleepers and am aware this can drive you nuts!!

I am not advocating that mothers should feel bad if they can not get enough sleep as there are clearly times when this is not possible.  I am however asking you to look at your current lifestyle and see if you could make any changes to improve this area.  I have begun doing this and can’t believe how much better I feel.  It has taken some self discipline not to stay up at nights and do things but I have found if I have so much more energy through the day now that I can get all the tasks done and more.

I guarantee that if you make an effort in this area you will be amazed with the results it not only improves you energy levels but also gives you a much more positive outlook on life.

Please visit my website  at :

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

The most important piece of advice I can give any parent here is to wait until your child is ready.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people ignore this fundamental piece of advice.  They start trying to toilet train children far too early, the process goes on for ever and the poor child is made to feel like he is doing something wrong when in truth he does not understand what he is supposed to do.  The parent obviously gets stressed with all the extra work and frustrated that it is taking so long.  This is all done by well meaning parents who have heard that your child must start toilet training at 2.  It  is widely accepted by people that children all start talking and walking at different ages but for some reason when it comes to toilet training people still seem to believe that  their child should be ready on their 2nd birthday for this task. I waited until my child was 3 and had him toilet trained within a week:

.If possible choose a few weeks when you are not working and you and your child can spend most of that time at home

.If you wait for your child is older they will already have a good idea of when they need the toilet - they may have already started telling you when they need a poo and doing it on the toilet or potty

.Start by putting underpants on your child and explain to them that they are to tell you if they need to pee or poop

.To begin with you will have accidents and feel like your child will never get it - be patient though, continue praising them when it goes right and just calmly wipe them and change their underpants when accidents happen

.Remember to begin with it will be a very strange sensation for them and they may feel upset or afraid so lots of praise and telling them how big and grown up they are

.I would advise to keep using a potty for a while until they get used to the toilet training before you introduce the toilet

.After they have mastered the art using their underpants begin to introduce trousers to the scenario - again be patient this again is a whole new feeling and will take them time to get used to

I believe that if you wait until your child is old enough and dedicate a few weeks to this  task then you will have success in a very short space of time:

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

The first few months of being a mom are tough and if we are all honest our focus is on our baby not ourselves - which is the way it should be.  Remember that all the celebrity moms you see in the magazines have people to help them do everything, although they often like us to believe otherwise .  Imagine if you had nannies, housekeepers, person assistants, personal trainers, hairstylists,clothes stylists and make-up artists at your disposal not to mention tons of money we would all look glamorous too. However we can all take very simple steps to maintain our sexiness and keep ourselves feeling like a woman as well as a mother:

*Make a clothes budget for you and treat yourself as often as you can.  You must make this a priority or the money will go elsewhere - you are worth it!

*Don’t be tempted to snack on kids leftover or eat their sweets this is a bad habit that will pile on the pounds without you realizing

*If you feel you need to loose a few pounds find a plan that works for you and stick to it.  You may find slimming classes work for you or doing it with a friend.  Walking with a friend is a great way to catch up on the gossip and loose weight all at the same time

*Schedule in a night out for yourself it doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it gives you a chance to dress up and feel sexy

*Try to have days in your normal life when you dress up nice and put on make-up it makes you feel really good.  Sometimes when you are at home with kids you can get out the way of making an effort.

*Plan nights out with your partner where you dress up and make a special effort for each other - you need time together as a couple to keep that spark ignited

*Nights in with your partner are also a brilliant idea and can be done more often as you don’t need babysitters.  Get the children to bed cook a nice meal, watch a film or do whatever you want and have fun - again the key is on dressing up and feeling sexy.

*You may not be able to find the time or be able to afford all the beauty treatment or pampering you used to enjoy but try to incorporate some pampering into your life.  Even if it is just very occasionally.

The key is to do what you can to keep yourself feeling sexy and alive and keep making an effort!!

Please visit my website:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Some children seem to cope with this better than others as with all life’s challenges.  My son was very much on the couldn’t cope with it end.  I would like to share some tips with you that worked for my nephews and most other children and also what eventually we found worked for my son:

*Bribery - take you child’s favorite sweets to the hairdresser and give it to him throughout the haircut or at the end whichever works best.  Planning to take them to a toy shop, cafe after the haircut or somewhere else they really enjoy can also work.  Keep talking about this throughout the haircut to take their mind of it.

*Praise - Make a huge fuss of them praise them before they go in and throughout the haircut.  Let them know how proud everyone will be of them

*Choose a child friendly hairdresser were there are toys for them to look at and play with.  There was one time I could not get my son to get his haircut.  We realized he was quite happy to sit in the window and play with the toys.  The hairdresser was very accommodating and cut his hair while he played - you can of course take your own toys to the hairdresser with you .

*If going to a hairdresser is too difficult for your child why not see if you can get someone to come to your home.  You may know a friend or family member who is a hairdresser or can cut hair.

*All of the above work for most children and did work for us until he got to 2 years of age.  I eventually invested in a pair of hair clippers and get his father to do it at home.  I find that he seems to be calmer when his dad does it for some reason.  I sit in the room and give his lots of praise.  I also buy him some chocolate or a toy and keep reminding him what he will get when it’s all finished.

I think it is important to say here that most children who create a scene in the hairdressers time after time are usually frightened of getting their haircut and not just being awkward as many people seem to think.

Please visit my website:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

© sonya etchison - Fotolia.com

Going back to work after having my son for me was a very stressful time.  I pretty much buried my head in the sand and hoped and prayed that I would receive some kind of a wind fall which would mean I could stay at home with my beautiful little boy.  I loved being a full-time mum and for the first time in my life began to understand the impact money had on my life choices.

I learned by my mistakes though and realised that the ostrich position only made things worse.  What you need at an over emotional time like this is a well organised plan of action so that you have something to focus your attention on.  I would advise every new mother who is thinking of going back to work to check out the childcare facilities in your area as soon as possible.  This may be a good project to do even before you’ve had your child as you’ll have more time to put into it then.  Look at what they offer and how much they charge.  I think the best and most truthful recommendations are from other parents.  If you like the look of somewhere do a bit of research and see if you know someone who knows someone who uses their facilities.  Also if you have friends who have children find out from them what childcare provision they use.

Now we all know that childcare can be costly so it may be worth finding out if grandparents would be willing to help out.  Of course there are plus and minus points about this.  Friends and other family members may also be willing to help you out or come to a childcare arrangement with you if they also have kids.

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Before I had my little boy I was a routine rebel.  I used to look at people with their routine organised lives and feel all the energy drain out my body.  I always prided myself that I did well in my career and had a brilliant full life despite having no set  routine and thought of these routine type people as my nemesis.  I loved being spontaneous and going on holiday at a moments notice or going somewhere completely out of the ordinary for a night out.

After I had my son of course my routine rebel was forced to calm down a bit as I could not lead the same lifestyle as before but I stuck in my heels with every little thing that I could and tried not to follow a rigid routine.  This trait helped me in the beginning months as I didn’t get stressed with things not being structured and could easily adapt to his sleeping patterns but as he grew older I had to hang up my rebel ways and yes you’ve guessed it give in to the routine monster.

Now I keep my rebel side hidden away until a kind grandparent offers a sleep over which is accepted by my son.  At which point I go back to my old ways staying up till all hours, stay in or go out depending on what I feel like at the time and definitely sleeping till late the next morning - bliss!!

Please visit my site at

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

The love parents have for their children is like no other love, and it forces us to challenge our views and raise our game to be the best we can. That being said, the path of parenthood doesn’t always run smooth. There are the things you expect and plan for, and there are unexpected life turns that change your world.

In this book, I have been totally truthful and honest about my experience as a parent, including the tears, tantrums and joy that I have experienced and felt. I want you to look at this book as a very good friend who will make you feel less alone, make you laugh, give you some very helpful tips and inspire you.

Love, Rachel

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com