Tears, tantrums and joy

Involving you child in cooking is a great way to get them to eat healthily:

>Choose a time that you can give them your undivided attention so that it is a positive experience for them - obviously if you are too busy it is not a good idea to involve them as it could be dangerous with hot cookers and sharp knifes

>You could begin by getting them to cook once a week with you that way you could set aside extra time for them to help.  Begin making the meal earlier than you normally would so that you are not rushing and can spend time helping your child with the tasks

>If there is a food they don’t like in dish this is a great way to encourage them to eat it - mushrooms in spaghetti bolognese for example

>If you have more than one child it may be an idea to allocate them different cooking days.  It can be quite tricky to find enough jobs to keep  two or more children occupied at one time

>Remember to praise them when your eating your meal and remind them that they made it - this will raise their self-esteem as well as encouraging them to eat up

This is obviously a great life skill for your child to learn and something they can build on as they get older.

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http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

All children love to bake - it exciting and creative and you get something yummy to eat at the end.   Here are my top tips for successful baking:

>If you are new to baking or a bit rusty it may be an idea to bake something with your child which is just for fun.  We often nowadays tend only to bake when there is an occasions such as a school fair or some one’s birthday.  - The problem with introducing your child to baking at these times is that if you are an inexperienced baker you are already under pressure.  Add a child into this equation and it will put you of doing it again for life!!

>Make the first experience just for the fun of  it - that way you will be more relaxed - if your efforts turn out good you can give them to people if not who cares. You will learn from the experience and know how to do it better next time

>Obviously choose something simple to begin with - this will be more fun for both of you as your child can join in more

>Try some of the packet mix bakes that you can get from your local supermarket.  You may feel this is cheating but it is a great way to get you into baking and build up your confidence.  There are ones that are designed for children the great thing about these is that your child can help you with everything as they are made so simple.  The other benefit to packet mix is that you can keep it in your cupboard and use it the next rainy day as you don’t need to worry about having the right ingredients in the house.  I think the ideal scenario is to do baking from scratch and use packet mix as you can plan to bake somedays and at other times when the mood takes you then you have the flexibility of the packet mix.

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

If you are like most of the population doing your housework is hardly the most exciting thing in the world.  We all are guilty of finding these chores boring and tedious.  I was like this too but have found a new way to perk me up and get myself going.  I bought myself a pedometer and watched the steps add up as I looked after my children and did the chores.  I began finding myself having much more energy and getting on with things I had put off for ages.  I now have not only lost weight but also feel much more in control of  my life.  My top tips for feel great are:

*Buy yourself a pedometer - measuring your steps encourages you to do more - start gradually and build it up if you do too much to begin with you may put yourself off

*Do jobs you have been putting off - you’ll be amazed how much better you feel.  I couldn’t believe how much things had got on top of me until I started to become more active and took control

*Get into a housework routine - I used to think this would be really boring and I would spend all my days cleaning - but actually the opposite is true.  If you get organized you will spend far less time thinking and doing domestic chores as you know exactly what needs to be done and when.

Follow these tips and you will be amazed with the increase in your energy and weight and best of all it won’t cost you a thing - think of your house as you new gym

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsand joy.com

I think it is fair to say that most of us are feeling the pinch of the credit crunch this year and are looking for new ways to entertain the family on a tighter budget.  I have so far this year had some brilliant family outings while watching the pennies:

*Get a copy of your local visitors guide.  You’ll be a amazed how many place you have never visited for years or maybe not at all. Set of for the day and visit somewhere new

*When it’s a nice day pack a pic-nic and head of somewhere - children love this and the cost is minimal

*Look at places near you and go there for an overnight stay - this saves on travel costs.  It also saves on long, tedious journeys and means you get more family time

*Go and visit friends who have children - playing in someone else’s garden is so much more fun for children

Remember children love spending time with you, playing with other children and seeing different things.  They get as much enjoyment out of a pic-nic in the park that an elaborate, expensive trip.  Spend time with them and have fun and they will too!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Most parents I talk to nowadays feel quite guilty about the fact their children don’t socialise with other children as often as they would like.  When I was younger like most children of my era my mother was at home with us all the time.  There were lots of children around our village and very few mothers drove so we were always in the village playing with the other children.

Compare that to today’s pace of life were mothers and fathers both work.  Everyone drives and is constantly going here there and everywhere along with the declining number of children being born and you can see why things have changed.  I think it is important here to take note of the changes in society as many parents do feel guilty about this and do feel like their to blame.  I also think it is wise to remember how much you valued one to one time spent with your parents.  I would imagine if you were in a big family this was quite rare and something that we may in these times find it easier to give - so look on all the benefits of today’s society

Here are some ways to jump on the child socializing wagon:

Do any of your friends have children? Plan a time to meet up as often as you can this is a great way to keep in touch.  Meet at someone’s home, a cafe etc.

Look around your neighborhood and see is there are any parent and toddler groups

If your child has cousins he gets on with make the effort to visit them - also invite them to your house even for a sleepover if you are brave enough

Find out about events in your area for family and children - most communities have Summer fairs, Children’s Christmas parties, family nights, Sunday teas etc.  These are all great ways for your child to play with other children.

Most importantly have fun and enjoy being with your child - you are doing a good job!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Domestic chores - not my favorite words!! I wasn’t just over the moon about them pre -kids and am even less so now.  I feel like I now do ten times as much domestic chores around the house as I used to and within 10 minutes everything looks a mess again.  A bit of a thankless task!!

I have however discovered ways to motivate and inspire me to complete these mundane tasks:

Music - I have recently started listening to the radio when I’m cleaning it’s amazing how it takes your mind of what you are doing and lifts your mood.  I now dance around listening to music , debate the issues of the day and of course have a laugh with the amusing DJ’s - now I actually look forward to my radio time.  You can of course use this time to listen to your favorite CD.

Routine cleaning - If you have a routine of certain things you do on certain days it stops you feeling overwhelmed by what needs done.  Housework is an ongoing process you can always do more but you have to find a realistic level that you can stick to.  Remember you want to be able to enjoy your children and your home will never be at the standards it was pre kids.  You will have years to clean your house once they are grown up

Timed Cleaning - Another way of doing things is to set yourself a time limit.  For example decide to clean for 2 hours.  Clean as much as you can in this time then stop -  lay down whatever you are doing.  You will be amazed by how much you can get down in this time knowing there is an end in sight - combine with your favorite radio station and your husband won’t recognize the place when he gets home - voila a domestic goddess has emerged!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

I want to bring every moms attention to the area of sleep.  I had my child and for the first year or so tried to carry on my routine as I usually did staying up late and getting up early.  The only difference was before I used to have week-ends of when I could catch up on my sleep - now of course my work was 24/7.

I know as a mother it is very tempting to stay up late once your child has gone to bed and catch up on chores or relax and watch TV or whatever .  This is a time in the day were you can get on with things with no interruptions.  I am also very aware of children having disturbed sleep at times or just not being very good sleepers and am aware this can drive you nuts!!

I am not advocating that mothers should feel bad if they can not get enough sleep as there are clearly times when this is not possible.  I am however asking you to look at your current lifestyle and see if you could make any changes to improve this area.  I have begun doing this and can’t believe how much better I feel.  It has taken some self discipline not to stay up at nights and do things but I have found if I have so much more energy through the day now that I can get all the tasks done and more.

I guarantee that if you make an effort in this area you will be amazed with the results it not only improves you energy levels but also gives you a much more positive outlook on life.

Please visit my website  at :

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Reading and looking at books with your child is a brilliant habit to get into with your kids.  It is brilliant just to spend that quality time with them and you will be amazed how their imagination begins to take of.  I suppose the bedtime story is a traditional time to read to them but if this is not best for you find another time that suits you.  I used to read a bedtime story but I have recently tried to make it a bit earlier in the day.  I find that my son’s  imagination always gets a bit too fired up when I read him a story.  This of course means that you end up with a child who is wanting to act out all the stories in the book and is totally wide awake when they should be sleeping.  You may also find that you are very tired at nights and perhaps do not have the enthusiasm or take the time you would if you did this earlier on.  Find what works for you and try to get into a routine of doing this if possible.

Books on a budget:

.Try your local library - they are great resource as you can keep rotating the books so that your child and you don’t get bored

.Look in bookstores they very often have books they are selling of at bargain prices

.Second hand bookstores,charity shops and jumble sales are also a good way to pick up books at a bargain price

.Shop around the Internet as you will often find popular sites that you trust having sales on books.  This is  a good way for parents to shop as you can do it while they are asleep and get peace to think.

.What about your old books you had when you were a kid?  You may have them in a box somewhere or ask your parents if they have any of them stored away

.Let your friends and family know you are in the market for any children’s books their children have grown out of and watch them flood in - most parents are constantly trying to clear out things their children have grown out of to make room for new stuff.

The main thing is to have fun with your child and treasure every moment with them as they develop and grow

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

The most important piece of advice I can give any parent here is to wait until your child is ready.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people ignore this fundamental piece of advice.  They start trying to toilet train children far too early, the process goes on for ever and the poor child is made to feel like he is doing something wrong when in truth he does not understand what he is supposed to do.  The parent obviously gets stressed with all the extra work and frustrated that it is taking so long.  This is all done by well meaning parents who have heard that your child must start toilet training at 2.  It  is widely accepted by people that children all start talking and walking at different ages but for some reason when it comes to toilet training people still seem to believe that  their child should be ready on their 2nd birthday for this task. I waited until my child was 3 and had him toilet trained within a week:

.If possible choose a few weeks when you are not working and you and your child can spend most of that time at home

.If you wait for your child is older they will already have a good idea of when they need the toilet - they may have already started telling you when they need a poo and doing it on the toilet or potty

.Start by putting underpants on your child and explain to them that they are to tell you if they need to pee or poop

.To begin with you will have accidents and feel like your child will never get it - be patient though, continue praising them when it goes right and just calmly wipe them and change their underpants when accidents happen

.Remember to begin with it will be a very strange sensation for them and they may feel upset or afraid so lots of praise and telling them how big and grown up they are

.I would advise to keep using a potty for a while until they get used to the toilet training before you introduce the toilet

.After they have mastered the art using their underpants begin to introduce trousers to the scenario - again be patient this again is a whole new feeling and will take them time to get used to

I believe that if you wait until your child is old enough and dedicate a few weeks to this  task then you will have success in a very short space of time:

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

The best tip I could ever give a new parent is not to fall into the extravagant birthday party syndrome.  Remember when you do this at an early age it is for you not for the child.  It is easy to fall into the trap of feeling like your child is getting less than others or that you are not such a good parent as so and so because your party wasn’t  as big.  Of course we all know that is rubbish but I see parents fall into this trap all the time.

All children are different and obviously like different things so why not think about what your child will enjoy.  My advice would be for the first few years to have a small house party.  Invite close family and/or friends.  They can bring their children along and play in the house and the garden.  This takes the stress of you as it is people you are used with and find easy to talk to.

Think about what time the party is at? Who you are making the food for?  Some parties seem to be just for children others have a more adult base.  In the beginning there will be obviously be adults there with their children so make it clear  beforehand who the food is for.  When I do house parties I always take the adults into account especially if they are travelling a while to get to your house.

Now there are of course supermarket deals on party food which are sometimes quite good value and can save you a lot of work.  Stock up on paper plates and cups when you see them on special offer - usually after Christmas and Summer time.  If you find the idea of people in your house too stressful you can always check out you local hotel as they often have small rooms that they will give you quite cheaply.  They may also give you a good deal on food or let you take your own.  Village halls are also good venues for parties at a reasonable cost.  Make sure you arrive early though to put the heaters on as they can be quite chilly.  The main thing with a party is to make sure that your child and all the guest have a good time.  I think this is easier to do with a smaller number.  Your child will be at school soon enough and telling you what he wants to do and invite - save the stress and pennies now while you can!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com