Tears, tantrums and joy

Involving you child in cooking is a great way to get them to eat healthily:

>Choose a time that you can give them your undivided attention so that it is a positive experience for them - obviously if you are too busy it is not a good idea to involve them as it could be dangerous with hot cookers and sharp knifes

>You could begin by getting them to cook once a week with you that way you could set aside extra time for them to help.  Begin making the meal earlier than you normally would so that you are not rushing and can spend time helping your child with the tasks

>If there is a food they don’t like in dish this is a great way to encourage them to eat it - mushrooms in spaghetti bolognese for example

>If you have more than one child it may be an idea to allocate them different cooking days.  It can be quite tricky to find enough jobs to keep  two or more children occupied at one time

>Remember to praise them when your eating your meal and remind them that they made it - this will raise their self-esteem as well as encouraging them to eat up

This is obviously a great life skill for your child to learn and something they can build on as they get older.

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The most important piece of advice I can give any parent here is to wait until your child is ready.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people ignore this fundamental piece of advice.  They start trying to toilet train children far too early, the process goes on for ever and the poor child is made to feel like he is doing something wrong when in truth he does not understand what he is supposed to do.  The parent obviously gets stressed with all the extra work and frustrated that it is taking so long.  This is all done by well meaning parents who have heard that your child must start toilet training at 2.  It  is widely accepted by people that children all start talking and walking at different ages but for some reason when it comes to toilet training people still seem to believe that  their child should be ready on their 2nd birthday for this task. I waited until my child was 3 and had him toilet trained within a week:

.If possible choose a few weeks when you are not working and you and your child can spend most of that time at home

.If you wait for your child is older they will already have a good idea of when they need the toilet - they may have already started telling you when they need a poo and doing it on the toilet or potty

.Start by putting underpants on your child and explain to them that they are to tell you if they need to pee or poop

.To begin with you will have accidents and feel like your child will never get it - be patient though, continue praising them when it goes right and just calmly wipe them and change their underpants when accidents happen

.Remember to begin with it will be a very strange sensation for them and they may feel upset or afraid so lots of praise and telling them how big and grown up they are

.I would advise to keep using a potty for a while until they get used to the toilet training before you introduce the toilet

.After they have mastered the art using their underpants begin to introduce trousers to the scenario - again be patient this again is a whole new feeling and will take them time to get used to

I believe that if you wait until your child is old enough and dedicate a few weeks to this  task then you will have success in a very short space of time:

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Having a child that is shy can be more stressful than people realize.  I have found that a lot of the stress I felt in  with this was from other people (mostly family) yes, it is always the mother’s fault!!  In the end I had to remain strong and do what I thought was right in each situation.  Getting a balance between allowing my child the opportunity to socialize and not stressing him out too much:

.Now I made an effort to take him to social events, birthday parties etc.  Sometimes it went well and others times we spent the night sitting out in a quiet place.  Now I will be honest here and say that I did sometimes find this a bit frustrating as I had often travelled a while to get to these events and was annoyed that he would not go in.  However other children usually came out and he was quite happy to place with them outside the event but found going in too overwhelming.  I came to realize that the noise seemed to be a factor

.I began to realize that if we went somewhere I stood more chance of success if I got there before anyone else.  That way he got used to the environment and the people came in gradually so it was less scary.

.We often get frustrated when things do not go as planned and sometimes forget to praise our children when they do good.  Heap on the praise when they manage social situations well and keep reminding them how much fun they had playing with the children

.Taking my nephews to things with us also worked well as he felt safe and secure in their presence.  If their are other children they get on well with it may be possible to take them with you as it will help boost your child’s confidence.

.If your child has a tendency to be shy you will have good days and bad days in this area.  Somedays I think he has been cured and others I think I am back to square one.  You will have to call on your patience here and you will eventually make headway.  Do what you feel is right for your child and remember how wonderfully individual they are and of course ignore anyone who makes negative or insensitive comments.

Please visit my website at :

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Before I had my little boy I was a routine rebel.  I used to look at people with their routine organised lives and feel all the energy drain out my body.  I always prided myself that I did well in my career and had a brilliant full life despite having no set  routine and thought of these routine type people as my nemesis.  I loved being spontaneous and going on holiday at a moments notice or going somewhere completely out of the ordinary for a night out.

After I had my son of course my routine rebel was forced to calm down a bit as I could not lead the same lifestyle as before but I stuck in my heels with every little thing that I could and tried not to follow a rigid routine.  This trait helped me in the beginning months as I didn’t get stressed with things not being structured and could easily adapt to his sleeping patterns but as he grew older I had to hang up my rebel ways and yes you’ve guessed it give in to the routine monster.

Now I keep my rebel side hidden away until a kind grandparent offers a sleep over which is accepted by my son.  At which point I go back to my old ways staying up till all hours, stay in or go out depending on what I feel like at the time and definitely sleeping till late the next morning - bliss!!

Please visit my site at

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

The love parents have for their children is like no other love, and it forces us to challenge our views and raise our game to be the best we can. That being said, the path of parenthood doesn’t always run smooth. There are the things you expect and plan for, and there are unexpected life turns that change your world.

In this book, I have been totally truthful and honest about my experience as a parent, including the tears, tantrums and joy that I have experienced and felt. I want you to look at this book as a very good friend who will make you feel less alone, make you laugh, give you some very helpful tips and inspire you.

Love, Rachel

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com