Tears, tantrums and joy

Working from home can seem like the perfect solution for parents - if you are considering this please read my pros and cons before you make up your mind:

Pros

>Work can be more flexible and fit in with your family lifestyle

>If you can work around your kids routines and your partner helps out you may not need childcare

>You will save money on childcare and travel costs - also on office rental if you are self-employed

>You may find it easier to concentrate as there are no work colleagues to distract you

Cons

>If your kids are not yet at school it may prove difficult to do your work around their routines.  They do not always stick to their routines and certainly do not understand that they can’t interrupt you while you are working

>There is of course children’s school holidays to consider also

>Visitors coming along your home and phone calls can also be an unwanted distractions

>You may find it more difficult to switch off from work and relax as it is in your own home

Working from home can be very successful for many parents.  It all really depends how many hours you are expecting to be able to work each day and how you organise your time.  You must be honest with yourself at the start and not expect yourself to perform miracles.  You cannot do a full day’s work at home while directly supervising young children.  You may be able to fit in a few hours and maybe some again at night when they are sleeping.  Partners and parents may be able to help out with childcare to allow you to work.  If your children are at the school this obviously makes working from home a more viable option.  You must organise your time well and be very disciplined as it is easy to get distracted with other things while in your own home.

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy

Involving you child in cooking is a great way to get them to eat healthily:

>Choose a time that you can give them your undivided attention so that it is a positive experience for them - obviously if you are too busy it is not a good idea to involve them as it could be dangerous with hot cookers and sharp knifes

>You could begin by getting them to cook once a week with you that way you could set aside extra time for them to help.  Begin making the meal earlier than you normally would so that you are not rushing and can spend time helping your child with the tasks

>If there is a food they don’t like in dish this is a great way to encourage them to eat it - mushrooms in spaghetti bolognese for example

>If you have more than one child it may be an idea to allocate them different cooking days.  It can be quite tricky to find enough jobs to keep  two or more children occupied at one time

>Remember to praise them when your eating your meal and remind them that they made it - this will raise their self-esteem as well as encouraging them to eat up

This is obviously a great life skill for your child to learn and something they can build on as they get older.

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

All children love to bake - it exciting and creative and you get something yummy to eat at the end.   Here are my top tips for successful baking:

>If you are new to baking or a bit rusty it may be an idea to bake something with your child which is just for fun.  We often nowadays tend only to bake when there is an occasions such as a school fair or some one’s birthday.  - The problem with introducing your child to baking at these times is that if you are an inexperienced baker you are already under pressure.  Add a child into this equation and it will put you of doing it again for life!!

>Make the first experience just for the fun of  it - that way you will be more relaxed - if your efforts turn out good you can give them to people if not who cares. You will learn from the experience and know how to do it better next time

>Obviously choose something simple to begin with - this will be more fun for both of you as your child can join in more

>Try some of the packet mix bakes that you can get from your local supermarket.  You may feel this is cheating but it is a great way to get you into baking and build up your confidence.  There are ones that are designed for children the great thing about these is that your child can help you with everything as they are made so simple.  The other benefit to packet mix is that you can keep it in your cupboard and use it the next rainy day as you don’t need to worry about having the right ingredients in the house.  I think the ideal scenario is to do baking from scratch and use packet mix as you can plan to bake somedays and at other times when the mood takes you then you have the flexibility of the packet mix.

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

I think most of us are at the moment feeling the pinch of the credit crunch.  At times like these the first thing that goes out the window for parents are nights out.  We see them as luxury items and way down on our list of priorities.  Sometimes even when you do get out you find it difficult to enjoy it as you are so aware how much it is costing you.  I do believe it is very important for couple to continue having nights out together as it reminds you of why you fell in love with one another in the first place and gives you a chance to be you again and not just mum and dad.  You can however try substituting some of the nights you used to go out with a night in:

>Get someone to babysit the kids at their house

>Arrange a time for your night to begin and both go and get dressed up as you would for a night out

>Cook a meal in or get a take-away - splash out a little on a nice bottle of wine

>Sit around the table and catch up with one another’s news - play some music to keep the night upbeat

>Then you can watch a movie, do a bit of dancing, whatever takes your fancy

>Remember you are young and free tonight and you can stay up late and have a lie in tomorrow morning

This is a great way to get that together and in love feeling without having to spend a fortune.  I think these kind of nights are a must if you want to keep your relationship alive

Please visit my website at :

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Store and supermarket shopping are a normal thing for us all to do nowadays.  The small corner and country shops are diminishing in numbers.  So too are the specialised shops such as Butchers, fish mongers, bakers etc.  The supermarkets tempt us in with all their varieties and choices.  Bargains galore are to be found on their shelves which will save you a fortune - or will they?

My supermarket bill seemed to be going up and up in recent months so I decided a bit of an experiment was in order.  I began to use my local shops more and cut out the supermarket shop for a while to see how I got on:

>I found I did save money using the local shops.  I tended to buy what I went in for and was not tempted to buy other things I was tempted into at the supermarket

>However I did not obviously have the same choice when it came to fruit and vegetables which annoyed me - the meat and fish I ate though were of superior quality

>I had to change my routine a bit in order to do my shopping at the local shops - as obviously they were not open as long as the supermarket

In the future I have decided to use my local shops more often and have found a brilliant fish van that delivers to my door every week.  I will still use my local supermarket every week for fruit and vegetable as I like the variety and freshness there - but will stick only to this lane then get out before temptation beckons.

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsand joy.com

If you are like most of the population doing your housework is hardly the most exciting thing in the world.  We all are guilty of finding these chores boring and tedious.  I was like this too but have found a new way to perk me up and get myself going.  I bought myself a pedometer and watched the steps add up as I looked after my children and did the chores.  I began finding myself having much more energy and getting on with things I had put off for ages.  I now have not only lost weight but also feel much more in control of  my life.  My top tips for feel great are:

*Buy yourself a pedometer - measuring your steps encourages you to do more - start gradually and build it up if you do too much to begin with you may put yourself off

*Do jobs you have been putting off - you’ll be amazed how much better you feel.  I couldn’t believe how much things had got on top of me until I started to become more active and took control

*Get into a housework routine - I used to think this would be really boring and I would spend all my days cleaning - but actually the opposite is true.  If you get organized you will spend far less time thinking and doing domestic chores as you know exactly what needs to be done and when.

Follow these tips and you will be amazed with the increase in your energy and weight and best of all it won’t cost you a thing - think of your house as you new gym

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsand joy.com

I think it is fair to say that most of us are feeling the pinch of the credit crunch this year and are looking for new ways to entertain the family on a tighter budget.  I have so far this year had some brilliant family outings while watching the pennies:

*Get a copy of your local visitors guide.  You’ll be a amazed how many place you have never visited for years or maybe not at all. Set of for the day and visit somewhere new

*When it’s a nice day pack a pic-nic and head of somewhere - children love this and the cost is minimal

*Look at places near you and go there for an overnight stay - this saves on travel costs.  It also saves on long, tedious journeys and means you get more family time

*Go and visit friends who have children - playing in someone else’s garden is so much more fun for children

Remember children love spending time with you, playing with other children and seeing different things.  They get as much enjoyment out of a pic-nic in the park that an elaborate, expensive trip.  Spend time with them and have fun and they will too!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Do you know that we are all wired for success and achieving our goals?   We are all at our happiest when we are achieving and accomplishing our dreams and reaching our potential.  I think most people start of like this but many get lost along the way through disappointments and setbacks in life.  Everyone who has been successful in life has failed more than anyone else because they have tried more than anyone else - that is their secret they never give up and have gritty determination.  They don’t take no for an answer believe in themselves and keep pushing forward despite what anyone says or thinks.

In order to fulfill our dreams we have to set goals and focus on them and motivate ourselves to achieve them.  Our dreams can seem quite large to achieve but if we do it step by step and do something everyday you’ll be amazed how quick you will get there.  Write down exactly what the goals are you want to achieve as this gives you a definite aim to work towards.  The beginning of a project is the most difficult bit but as you begin to complete goals and move towards your dreams you’ll get more confidence, feel good about yourself and be motivated to do more.  You will begin to feel alive and excited about life and get your zest back - just take the first step!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

I would like to share with you a piece of advice that has changed the way I feel, look at and deal with situations.  Like most things it is so simple but often overlooked by us all:

Practical Exercise - Thinks about all the external influences in your life and think about how many of them you have complete control over e.g.

Your partner, Your child, Your teenager, Your workmates, Your in-laws, Your parents, Your friends, Your car, the weather, etc

We do not have complete control over any of the above things - we can on occasions influence some of them but cannot control them all the time.   What we do however have control over  is how we respond and act to people and events that happen around us. We can create a world of peace, calm and happiness or a world of misery, pain and unhappiness in how we respond to daily events that happen around us.

I used to think that my external factors made me feel miserable and I had no control over them but since learning this very simple principle I have changed my life.  No-one has control over your feelings and thoughts and they cannot drag you down unless you let them.  I began practicing this at work and was amazed with the results.  It took time to break old habits and in the beginning I would occasionally forget.  Over time though it just became a way of life it made me feel so powerful and I began to have so much more energy as I was no longer carrying around all the negative, worrying feelings thoughts and words that I used to.   In life it is often the small unimportant things that steal our joy - you will begin to notice that these things that used to ruin your day will not bother  you anymore.

You will be amazed how much your world changes when you begin to change instead of waiting for others to change.

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com

Most parents I talk to nowadays feel quite guilty about the fact their children don’t socialise with other children as often as they would like.  When I was younger like most children of my era my mother was at home with us all the time.  There were lots of children around our village and very few mothers drove so we were always in the village playing with the other children.

Compare that to today’s pace of life were mothers and fathers both work.  Everyone drives and is constantly going here there and everywhere along with the declining number of children being born and you can see why things have changed.  I think it is important here to take note of the changes in society as many parents do feel guilty about this and do feel like their to blame.  I also think it is wise to remember how much you valued one to one time spent with your parents.  I would imagine if you were in a big family this was quite rare and something that we may in these times find it easier to give - so look on all the benefits of today’s society

Here are some ways to jump on the child socializing wagon:

Do any of your friends have children? Plan a time to meet up as often as you can this is a great way to keep in touch.  Meet at someone’s home, a cafe etc.

Look around your neighborhood and see is there are any parent and toddler groups

If your child has cousins he gets on with make the effort to visit them - also invite them to your house even for a sleepover if you are brave enough

Find out about events in your area for family and children - most communities have Summer fairs, Children’s Christmas parties, family nights, Sunday teas etc.  These are all great ways for your child to play with other children.

Most importantly have fun and enjoy being with your child - you are doing a good job!!

Please visit my website at:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com